Before You read, be aware that you have to know history well to understand this story.
One day, Ulysses S. Grant and John Adams were playing golf. John Adams struck the ball and it flew in air and landed right in the hole.
"Great Shot, John!" Ulysses commented.
"Thanks, my dad always practiced golfing with me," John Adams told.
All of the sudden, King Tut and Fidel Castro came over with golf clubs.
"Hey losers, get off the golf course," Castro growled smoking a cigar.
"Yeah, I'm going to help Castro practice for the Cuban Golfing Tournament, so walk off the course, NOW!," King Tut told.
"Hey, guys, guys, we can settle this without violence, let's be friends," John Adams said hugging Castro and King Tut.
Castro then took the cigar out of his mouth and burnt John Adams' face with it.
John Adams then screamed in pain and started to run around screaming in pain.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" John Adams screamed.
"You do not touch me!" Castro growled.
"Hey, that was not nice!" Ulysses S. Grant yelled.
John Adams then got out a gun and pointed it at Castro and King Tut. They both out their hands up nervously.
"Ha! Who's in charge now?" John Adams laughed.
Meanwhile in the city, JFK was being driven through the city with his wife Jackie.
When JFK was being driven by the book depository, the owner, Lee Harvey Oswald was watching JFK in interest.
He then saw John Adams in the golf course with the gun. He gasped and quickly got out a sniper rifle.
"That man has a gun! Time to take action!" Lee Harvey Oswald yelled aiming his gun.
He took a shot and missed and hit JFK. "Missed him, taking second shot," he said shooting again. He then hit John Adams in the stomach.
"Yes!" he cheered.
He then heard screaming and saw John F. Kennedy shot and he realized what he did. "Uh oh," he gulped.
Meanwhile at the golf course, John Adams was lying in Ulysses S. Grant's arms with his guts everywhere.
"T-t-tell George Washington, th-that he sucked," John Adams stuttered and two seconds later, he died.
"No!" Ulysses screamed.
King Tut and Castro backed away.
"Well, we better get out of here while we still can," King Tut said jumping into his sports car with Castro.
"Step on it!" Castro screamed. They then sped off.
"Oh god!" Ulysses sighed lying John Adams down. All of the sudden, Ulysses was hit in the head with a golf ball and fell knocked out.
Tiger Woods and Einstein then walked over to Ulysses' knocked out body.
Einstein sighed.
"I'll never become a good golfer! I'm going to have to go back to being a nerd and being the teacher's pet,"
"Don't worry, you will, you just have to feel it in here," Tiger Woods responded pointing to his chest.
Meanwhile,in a bar, Frederick Douglass was talking nonstop in William Clark's(from the lewis and clark expedition) ear.
"And that's how my last name became Douglass," he finally finished.
William Clark then slowly turned his head to Frederick. "Uh huh," he replied bored out of his mind.
"Hey bartender, another beer," Frederick called.
Jack Ruby, the bartender, filled the glass with beer and passed it to Frederick.
On the TV, they were saying that JFK was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in Texas.
"Uh oh, I sold that guy his gun, better shut him up," Jack Ruby said taking out a shotgun and running out the door.
Frederick then turned back to William Clark and started running his mouth again.
William Clark groaned and quickly ran out of the bar and down the street. Frederick then ran out of the bar and saw William Clark running down the street.
"HEY! You haven't heard the end of my story!" Frederick yelled starting to run down the street after William Clark.
Frederick ran past George W. Bush who was begging for money.
"Spare change anyone? COME ON! I'm the one who started the Iraq war, doesn't the world love violence, and I polluted the earth! Hello? Doesn't that help out racoons with eating?" George Bush begged.
Osama Bin Ladin then walked in front of George Bush and he smiled and started to make funny faces at him.
"Hey, it's you! That terrorist who I don't like!" he growled starting to get off the ground. He groaned and stood up and approved his bones with cracking them.
"Okay, let's do this," he said getting his fists ready.
All of the sudden, Secretary Robert McNamara knocked out Osama Bin Ladin with an AK-47 that was in his hand.
George Bush screamed and jumped in a garbage dump and closed the top.
Secretary McNamara knocked on it and said, "Get out of the dump Violent mind, come on War starter," he growled.
George Bush then slowly got out of the dumpster and McNamara knocked him out too.
About two hours later, Osama Bin Ladin and George Bush woke up tied to a chair in a basement of somewhere.
Osama Bin Ladin groaned and tried to wiggle out but it wouldn't budge. Osama looked around and saw a bar table, a pool table, a dart target on a wall, and a bunch of stains on the wall and ceiling.
Osama saw George Bush who was still knocked out and was tied up also. Drool was coming out of George's mouth.
"Hey,hey George," Osama called to him.
George still didn't wake up. Osama then spat at George's face and he woke up.
"Hey man! That was totally uncalled for!" he yelled at Osama.
"SHH! We have to find a way out of these ropes, let's make a deal, for now, we're partners, then when we escape, we go back to bombing each other's countries," Osama said.
After struggling and whining with the ropes, George agreed. George then started to cry.
"I want my daddy! He helped Kuiwait out and he had good ideas unlike me!" George cried.
"Shut up!" Osama yelled.
All of the sudden they heard giggling and evil laughing. They both gulped.
Secretary McNamara and President Lyndon B. Johnson then walked downstairs with a Machete and a gun. Osama and George gulped.
"There they are," Secretary McNamara told Lyndon pointing to Osama and George.
"What do you want?" Osama growled tied up.
"We want answers to John F. Kennedy's death, he was my best friend, and we want answers!" Lyndon yelled putting a machete to Osama's neck.
"Okay, look, I wasn't in Dallas during his death, I was gambling with Saddam Hussein," Osama growled at him. "Well, we asked him a few questions too," Secretary McNamara told them opening a closet and Saddam Hussein, who was tied up, fell out and hit the ground hard groaning.
McNamara took tape off Saddam's mouth. "Now, where might you have been on the day of JFK's death?" he asked.
"At the Dallas Carnival with Osama Bin Laden," he gulped.
"And when JFK was shot, where were you?" he asked taking a machete out.
"On the Ferris Wheel with Osama, we were shooting birds," he nervously told.
"And isn't it possible that one of those bullets could've hit John?" Lyndon Johnson asked walking over.
Saddam gulped and answered, "Yes,"
McNamara then put a machete to Saddam's neck and said, "Killer!" and was about to cut Saddam until Osama broke free and grabbed McNamara and Lyndon and shoved them in his giant beard and the beard basically swallowed them with hair.
"There we go, now time to get out of here," Osama laughed. "Yay! Now you can free Saddam and I!" George cheered.
"No, that ain't going to happen, I don't like you and Saddam lied about me and him, Lee Harvey Oswald was aiming for John Adams and missed him and accidently hit JFK! So it wasn't me, goodbye," Osama said running upstairs.
When he ran upstairs, he saw that he was in the white house. Guards looked at him and screamed.
Osama gulped and was shot by a bunch of shotguns and was shot so much that he flew back through the wall.
Secretary McNamara and Lyndon B. Johnson then fell out of his beard. They gasped and panted and then calmed down.
"That was close!" Lyndon gasped.
"Hey! You touched that guy's beard, you're under arrest!" one cop yelled pointing his gun at both of them.
They both put their hands up.
The cop put handcuffs on them and put them in the back of a cop car. "Why're we arrested?" McNamara asked the cop oddly while they started to drive away.
The cop couldn't talk because a yell from the trunk emerged from the trunk.
"Who's back there?" Lyndon asked.
"That's none of your buisness," the cop yelled.
All of the sudden Jesse Owens punched his way out of the trunk and rolled out.
He saw the car that took him prisoner and yelled.
"Destroy that car!" Jesse yelled starting to run after it.
The cop looked through the back mirror and gulped and started to drive fast.
"Why'd you take Jesse prisoner?" McNamara asked.
"Well, the truth is that I'm Michael Phelps and me and Jesse were tied for best Olympic player, I'm number one! Therefore I captured Jesse Owens to get him out of the picture!" Michael told.
"Well, you better step on it, he's gaining!" Lyndon screamed.
Michael Phelps started to drive at 150 MPH but that didn't stop Jesse, he kept on the car's tail.
"This guy moves fast! No wonder Hitler was astonished by his skill at the Olympics!" McNamara said.
"Speaking of Hitler, look out!" Michael screamed running over Hitler who was on a jog.
They then drove on a bridge while Jesse Owens was still on their tail. The car then ran out of gas.
"No!" Michael screamed.
"Well, we better get out of here!" McNamara screamed jumping out of the car with Lyndon and ran off.
Jesse then picked up the car that had Michael in it. "Revenge!" he yelled throwing Michael's car off the bridge with him in it.
Jesse then sighed. "Well that was the high point of my day, guess I'll go gamble,"
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