A Penny's Journey

One day, a 1917 penny was made and it's first owner was a Private in World War 1 named Private James Francis. He called it his lucky penny. He was going into battle.
"Okay, lucky penny, give me some luck in this battle," Private Francis gulped grasping the penny.
He then ran out into battle screaming but was then shot in the head and he dropped the penny.
When the bodies were cleared out, the penny stayed. The penny lyed there for several years until a teenager named Adolf Hitler found it and picked it up looking at it.
"You'll be my lucky penny," Adolf said smiling.
He kept the penny throughout World War 2 and holocaust, and one day he was sitting in his chair in his house looking at his penny smiling.
"You've kept me alive penny, I thank you," he told the penny smiling.
All of the sudden bombs started to hit his house. He looked around and growled at the penny.
"This is all your fault!" Hitler growled at the penny.
He then swallowed the poison and died with the penny in his hand. The soldiers then walked in and saw Hitler dead.
A soldier named Sergeant Karkas saw the penny in his hand and picked it up.
"What a cool penny, I'm going to take you home!" he told the penny.
He kept it for a while and soon, in 1961, he joined the Bay of Pigs invasion and was captured by Castro. He was on the ground injured with the penny in his pocket.
Castro laughed at him. "Hey, what a failure you are, you- hey! Cool penny, I'll take that," Castro said taking the penny from him.
Castro's retarted son then smacked him on the head.
"Hi daddy, cool invasion, huh?" he asked Castro.
He smacked Castro so hard that the penny flew out of Castro's hand and into the ocean. It sunk to the bottom and stayed there for about 2 months until one night, a storm went through the sea and picked up the penny off the sea floor and it came to the top but flew onto a fishing boat going to America.
It got to America and it slipped off the boat. A fisherman then picked it up.
"I'm going to take YOU!" the fisherman laughed putting it in his pocket. He kept it for a month until one day he was walking by the white house and he didn't like President Kennedy(how dare he) and he threw the penny at the white house angrily.
It landed in the rose garden and a secret service agent picked it up and liked it and kept it and gave it to President Kennedy for being a good president.
"Cool penny," he said to himself looking at it alone in the oval office.
Secretary McNamara then ran in holding a bunch of pictures gasping. "Pr-President!" he screamed.
JFK rolled his eyes. "What?!"
"T-the c-cubans have threatened to bomb America, lives will be lost, I call this the Cuban Missile Crysis," he gasped.
"Look, I don't really care, so why don't you dig a hole and get me a beer," John F. Kennedy smurked looking at his penny.
"Hey, cool penny!" McNamara then cheered dropping the papers. He dove on the desk and made a grab for the penny. "I want it!" he cheered.
JFK then pulled it away from him and he slid off the desk knocking over a bunch of important secret papers.
"NO!" JFK yelled.
McNamara got up and tackled JFK and they fought for the penny angrily. "Let go of it!" McNamara roared.
"NO!" JFK yelled again.
While they were fighting, the penny flew from their hands and flew through the window and hit Martin Luther King's head who was walking.
He saw the penny and picked it up. He liked the looks of it and kept it. He kept the penny in his pocket during his "I Had A Dream" speeches. He thought the penny was good luck.
During an important speech of his, he was holding the penny in his hands while he was putting his arms up cheering in front of everyone. He was then shot by some guy and the penny flew out of his hand and flew halfway across town and landed on Neil Armstrong's head who was off to space training with Buzz Alderian.
He picked it up. "Oh man, I'm taking you with me, LUCKY penny," Neil told it.
A year later, Neil was going to the moon with Buzz and Michael Collins. He kept the penny in his pocket during takeoff, and when they got to space, Neil, Buzz, and Michael were doing the coin toss with the penny to see who would walk on the moon first, who would walk on the moon second, and who would not walk on the moon and have to stay in the ship.
Neil and Buzz won for going on the moon. Michael lost and he had to stay in the ship.
They soon got to the moon and Neil took the penny out to the moon with him.
Buzz looked at the camera and called Neil to come over and make a speech. Neil was giggling chasing the penny so he ignored Buzz.
Buzz sighed and said, "That's one small step for a man, one, giant leap for mankind,"
Neil then came over laughing and got in front of the camera with the penny laughing.
"I bet you want Buzz to stop yapping his mouth and listen to important stuff, look at this penny I found!" Neil cheered showing the camera the penny.
3 hours later, Buzz got the American flag out. He looked at Neil. "Would you like to do the honors?" he asked him.
"NO! Penny will!" Neil yelled picking up the flag and putting the penny on
the flag. He then put the flag in the moon.
They then went back to earth and Neil, Buzz, and Michael walked out smiling while a crowd was cheering for them.
"Yes, and also thank Penny!" Neil cheered showing them the penny.
"Dude, shut up about this stupid wasteful penny!" Buzz roared grabbing the penny and throwing it into the crowd.
A soon to be soldier in Vietnam caught it.
He looked at it. "I'll take you to 'Nam with me!"
The next day, he was on his way to Vietnam with the penny in his hand. "Give me luck," he said to it.
A few days later, he was battling in Vietnam. All of the sudden a bomb landed in front of him and blew him up. The penny flew out of his hand and landed in a river, it floated underwater and a fish grabbed it in his mouth. All of the sudden, a fishing hook grabbed onto the fish's mouth and it pulled the fish onto a wooden boat. Vietnam people then picked the fish up and pulled the penny out of it's mouth.
"Hmm, it seems to be American money," a vietnam soldier said looking at it. All of the sudden, a chopper shot rockets at the boat and blew the boat up. The penny flew onto the chopper. The chopper then started to fly back to America. It then soon landed in America and the penny fell out of the chopper and it fell down the landing platform and it hit a Pakistan person's head.
"Ow!" he growled. He then saw it and picked it up smiling. "You'll be good luck to me while I'm going to attack America!" he laughed to the penny.
He kept it for 20 years and soon, in 2001, he hijacked a plane with his friend and they flew to the two twin towers.
"Hey, don't you think this is kind of mean," the other guy asked.
"No, it's not are fault, it's my lucky penny's fault, he gives me good luck, we wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for my lucky penny," the other guys laughed.
The other guy rolled his eyes. They then got to New York and flew at full speed towards the building.
"Yee hah!" he cheered. They then crashed into the tower and the penny flew through the plane windshield and it flew towards a window and flew out and it started to fall down 2,000 feet. It landed on the ground super hard.
Osama Bin Ladin was disguised as an american watching the towers go down. He laughed and look down and saw the penny.
"Hey, a penny!" he cheered bending down and picking it up. "I'm going to take you back to Pakistan with me," he told it.
Soon, he was flown back to Pakistan and drove to his secret cave. He went in his little safehouse and closed the door and got on his bed looking at his penny.
"Your name will be Sergei," he laughed towards it.
He kept it for about 10 years and he would always talk to it and it was his best "friend".
Later one night, someone knocked on his door. He got up gulping with his penny.
He made an old lady voice to disguise himself. He held the penny up. "Who is it?"
"It's the navy seals, we're here to kill you!" one soldier yelled.
"Uh, what did I do? My name is Mrs. Penny, Osama went to the bar, uh, far away from here," he answered in his girl voice.
The soliders then broke down the door and they shot Osama in the head. He dropped dead on his bed.
The soldier that shot him, Corporal Johnson, looked at the penny and picked it up.
"Whoa, this is a 1917 penny, I'm taking this!" he cheered.
He then flew back to his hometown, Virginia. He was then driving through his neighborhood with the penny in his hand. He looked at it and sighed. "I'm famous, I don't need a stupid penny anymore!" he growled throwing it out the car window. It hit a door of a house.
A 12 year old boy named Ian walked out and looked at the penny. He picked it up looking at it.
"Gee, this is a 1917 penny, I wonder what it's been through,"