I'm With Stupid

One afternoon I went to the joke shop. I always loved going to the joke shop because joking is basically my hobby.
I opened the door into the shop and saw the owner of the shop, Ringo, at the desk. He was pretty cool and weird at the same time. He has an eye patch on him and I can’t tell if it’s a joke or real.
“Hey Ian, want that prehistoric iPod today?” Ringo greeted.
“Nah, got anything new that’s really good? And I mean like awesome!” I said.
“Well, prepare yourself for something amazing,” Ringo answered going into his box.
He then got out this red diamond.
“What’s the point of that? How’d you get it, bank robbery?” I asked.
“No, this diamond can hypnotize people and make them do anything,” Ringo explained.
“Hmm, interesting, thanks,” I thanked walking out of the joke shop with it.
I thought of what I was going to do with it. I then got an idea that I like more then the Super bowl! It was probably the best idea I ever had!
The next morning I headed off to school. My teacher was a big jerk named Mr. Tagert.
I walked into my classroom and saw Mr. Tagert walking over to me angrily.
“Ian! On your history test you said that Michael Jackson was the first president, you’re so stupid!” he shouted at me.
I then pulled out the diamond and started to hypnotize him.
“You’ll be stupid, you’ll act like a chimp and you shall terrorize kids!”
Mr. Tagert froze for about 5 seconds then started to screech as loud as he could.
The class and I giggled. Brian then walked up to Mr. Tagert holding his homework.
“Dude, do my homework,” Brian giggled giving him a pencil and paper.
Mr. Tagert then ate the paper and ate the pencil. The class and I couldn’t stop laughing.
“This is awesome!” Chase cheered.
Mr. Tagert then started to beat on Chase’s head like a drum! I fell to the ground laughing.
Tyler then walked in the room with an Ohio State tee-shirt. Mr. Tagert hated Ohio State!
Mr. Tagert then tackled Tyler to the ground and started to slap him!
The class then gasped. I then put my math homework into a paper airplane and threw it at Mr. Tagert’s head.
Mr. Tagert turned around and screeched. I gulped. Mr. Tagert then grabbed me by the hair and threw me against the TV! My head hit the screen so hard that it cracked!
Mr. Tagert then ran into Ms. Corall’s room. Brian then ran over to me.
“Ian, we got to stop him!” Brian said.
“Right,” I agreed.
We ran into Ms. Corall’s room and saw Mr. Tagert punting kids across the room! We gasped.
Mr. Tagert looked at us and screeched as loud as he could! The two of us gulped.
Mr. Tagert then grabbed Ms. Corall and rolled her up in a ball and rolled her towards Brian and I!
It knocked us over like bowling pins. We groaned. Mr. Tagert then walked up to me and slapped me very hard!
Mr. Tagert then screeched and jumped out the window to the playground. We heard kids screaming on the field.
“Let’s go,” I said.
We ran to the field and saw Mr. Tagert throwing kids across the field!
A football then hit him in the face. Timothy then walked over to Mr. Tagert.
“Dude, give me the football,” Timothy said.
Mr. Tagert screeched and ate the football and threw Timothy all the way to Ireland!
“Hey Mr. Tagert, pick on someone your IQ!” I yelled.
Mr. Tagert looked at us and screeched and ran towards us! Brian and I screamed and ran to the doors. Mr. Tagert then grabbed us and picked us up by are shirts! Brian and I were screaming.
“Mr. Tagert, no!” Brian screamed.
Mr. Tagert then threw us like footballs to the trees! We screamed and landed in the trees with cuts on us.
Mr. Tagert then ran inside the cafeteria.
“Ian, next time show a little foresight in this,” Brian groaned. We then fell to the ground and ran to the cafeteria.
We saw kids running out of the cafeteria screaming. We ran in and saw Mr. Tagert jumping on tables and eating lunch trays.
I picked up an apple.
“Hey monkey, catch this!” I yelled. I threw the apple at his head and it him.
Mr. Tagert then screeched and got mashed potatoes and threw it at us. We quickly ducked behind a fallen over table.
Brian and I grabbed peanut butter sandwiches. We threw them at him and he fell to the ground.
Brian laughed. “Stupid monkey!” but after Brian said that, Mr. Tagert then grabbed him and swallowed him in one piece!
I gasped. Before Mr. Tagert could do the same to me I got out the diamond and hypnotized him.
“You’ll go back to normal, and you shall spit out Brian!”
Mr. Tagert then froze for 5 seconds then started to choke and spat out Brian! Brian was covered with saliva!
“Brian! You okay?” I asked helping him up.
“No,” he groaned.
Mr. Tagert groaned. “What happened?” he groaned.
Dr. Mackin (are principal) then came into the cafeteria and gasped.
“What happened?” she gasped.
I then accidently pointed the diamond at her and she froze. Mr. Tagert walked up to her oddly.
“Dr. Mackin?” Mr. Tagert asked.
Dr. Mackin then screamed and started to slap Mr. Tagert! Brian and I sighed.
“Here we go again,”